This past week I got the privilege of going with come of youth group kids who I see as my family to Bozeman, Montana. One of the mornings at group devotions we looked at Genesis 29:31-35. My eyes were opened to this story of Leah and felt myself in her shoes feeling her pain and desires.
Leah was the oldest and in Bible times that meant a pressure to succeed and also have favoritism. Then came along Rachel and seemed to get what she wanted- in this case Jacob’s love.
Where I could relate in the passage is with the names of Leah’s children.
Leah named her first Reuben. The name Reuben means see because the Lord had looked upon her affliction; for now my husband will love me. How many times in our lives do we try to be seen? You go to church maybe to be seen? You wear something so maybe you will be noticed? You attend an event or visit someone so someone will see you and he or she will be impressed with you. Maybe just maybe by impressing them that will lead to love or being cared for.
Leah goes on to conceive again and she has a son and names him Simeon. Simeon means heard because the Lord had heard that Leah was hated. How many times do we want to be heard? How many conversations involve us talking so we can be heard? I am reading Love One Another by Gerald Sitter and the fourth chapter is called Forbear one another. The word for bear according to Webster actually means to restrain or resist. The word for bear has a second definition in Greek, which actually means, “to listen”. I need to learn to listen more to others and God in my life and listen less to myself. I need to stop talking to God in my prayers and just sit and listen to what he is saying in my life.
Leah goes on to conceive once again and has a son and names him Levi. Levi means attached because she bore him three sons Jacob would be attached to her. What do we try and attach ourselves to give us worth and make us feel complete? Sports team? Drama? Band? Who you know? How much you make? Where you live? What you do for a living? What are the things that you attach yourself too? One of my pet peeves when you meet people is after they ask your name they ask what you do for a living or who are you. I always want to answer I am Kristin Brouwer a child of God and my job is to be a disciple for King. I am a serf in the Kingdom of God.
Leah is not finished yet she has another son and names him Judah. This is my favorite one. Judah which means praise because Leah decides to this time she will praise the Lord. I love this because she tries to be seen, she tries to be heard, she tries to attach herself and none of those make her feel and love and accepted by Jacob. So she goes to the one person, who will see her, hear her, attach to her, and love her. She goes to God and just praises HIM!
So when I want to be seen by others….I just want to be seen by God and give Him the glory.
So when I want to be heard by others (or God) in a conversation….I need to step and for bear and just listen.
So when I want to be attached to someone or a group…I need to remember I am attached to the only one that matters.
When I want to give up and give in…I need to stop and praise the Lord and remember no matter what I do God is going to be only thing that is enough for me.
All of You is more than enough for
All of me for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough
You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know
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