Broken Hearted

I do not know what a broken heart feels like because I have never been in a relationship that caused my heart to be broken. But, I have seen people who have had their hearts broken. People who have planned on spending the rest of their life with a person and the other person felt otherwise. People who have had their hearts broken so badly that they thought they would never recover. Those people who have spent so much time thinking that if only he or she had loved me, things would be okay. Those who have been heartbroken know that gross feeling where part of you is missing and you would do anything to get it back.

The closet I have had to having my own heart broken was the phone call I got that dreadful October day 8 years ago that told me one of my favorite people in the whole world died, my grandfather. My heart broke in love for him, as I knew I would never see him again.

Today I was teaching about the crucifixion to my 8^th grade Bible class and I came across some information that made me step back. I learned that most who died in the terrible death of crucifixion died of suffocation or asphyxiation. My God Jesus did not die that way. Jesus died of a broken heart. My Lord’s heart ruptured on the cross. A heart that is a symbol of love and compassion was breaking. God’s

Exposed and broken heart reveals to me a God who passionately pursues His chosen with unbroken love from a broken heart. Some people will go to extremes to patch up shattered relationships. But nothing matches God’s pursuit of me one of his people.

Our 7^th grade Bible teacher was teaching Hosea today and like the prophet Hosea God continues to have a relationship with sinful and adulterous me. Most importantly, when I think of my own relationship with God, the full impact of this Hosea is experienced in identifying not just with Hosea but also with Gomer. I was created to not naturally desire God; I am fallen and full of sin. I am drawn toward willful independence and disobedience, and I don’t want God to be the sovereign Lord of our lives. In my fallenness and sinfulness (total depravity) I find it humanly impossible to make God Lord of my life. God always has to come to me first as my Savior and Redeemer, buying me back. The awe I live in is that God came to earth in Christ and on Calvary He is atoned and is atoning for MY sins and reconciling ME to himself. It is through the broken heart that I see, feel, and know God’s redeeming love.

We never really know how much a person loves us until we know how much they are willing to suffer for us. God loves me a whole lot because I am fallen, unlovely, and condemned. My only hope is God’s love and grace—through that broken heart. Jesus’ pure and perfect heart was broken so that my own heart may be clean. This clean heart wants to give you the love, honor, and praise you deserve.

Give me one pure and holy passion

Give me one magnificent obsession

Give me one glorious ambition for my life

To know and follow hard after You